2 More Sleeps
I was talking to Taryn and Calvin this morning on FaceTime. Calvin was telling me all about what he was going to do today. He was going to ride a bike. If he falls, he will wipe his hands off (something I taught him). He will play in water. Then he plans to go up, up, up, up a slide. When he gets to the top, 'uh oh' (which means he will go down). It was great. I miss them. I miss waking up in the morning and making breakfast for Taryn and Calvin. I miss early morning coffee with Taryn when the house is still quiet. Two more sleeps and then I am home.
Yet, as I reflect on this time here. I am struck by how much I have appreciated the time. I have been stretched in many ways. I have gotten more research done this month than I would have in a month at Edinburgh. I delivered a paper that my respondent said was thorough and convincing. This time has confirmed the gifts that I have in the academy. It has caused me to move from being hesitant about my work to much more confident. I want to explore publishing an article or two (I haven't been convinced my work is worth trying to get published until this month).
I only have two more sleeps in Kampen, and for that I am grateful. I am grateful to be going home. I am excited to be with my family again. I am excited to no longer see Taryn through a computer screen, but to be able to hug her and talk to her face-to-face. I am excited to share the load of parenting again. I am grateful be close to being back home soon. I have missed it. Yet, I am also grateful for the time I have had here. I am grateful for the relationships I have made. I am grateful for the conversations I have had with old friends (I am here with a fellow University of Edinburgh PhD candidate who sits across from me every day in Edinburgh). I am grateful for the new friends I have made and the conversations that I have had with them.
Coming here was scary but exhilarating. I was scared because I wasn't sure if I could hack it. I was scared because I wasn't sure how life at home would go without me. I was scared because I didn't want to be a new environment with new people. I was scared because it was something different and, in my opinion, change is always bad (that's a philosophical statement if I ever heard one). I was scared because my supervisor wouldn't be there to look at my work and validate it. However, it was exhilarating because it was a new challenge. It would push me in areas and make me grow. It was exhilarating because it would be a whole new group of people that haven't interacted with my research telling me what they thought of my research. These last days, have confirmed that this was the right the decision.
So, two more sleeps and I am home. I am going to miss my time here. It has been incredibly helpful for my research. Yet, going home will advance my work in so many new ways too. I can't wait. Two more sleeps.